Confused, anger, upset.

Well it all started this way, I cant go into the standard foundation program's at colleges. Only extended programs.*Those programs are depending on academic results. Average results can go into stadard which takes 40 weeks, poorer students can only go into the extended which is longer and better students can go into the accelerated which takes less time to complete. Simple? Not so, life isn't so. I want to go to Melbourne to study and the first choice is Trinity. Trinity college of Melbourne University rejected me and they don't have extended program. So next choice at Melbourne is Taylors. They do give extended but no one takes it of the friends that I've got(they all have better results, pfft) and to make matters worse, it starts late and ends 19 week more! 3 months after they do. I don't want that at all it disrupts everything if I can be with on the standard program. That is going to be go through the whole 5 years... So what do I do now?

I have another choice that is to go to Sydney....Alone. Why in the world should I go though that cruel and heartless strange of being alone with the horrid feeling? It might be worth it as I will take UNSW's extended which starts 19th January and then joins up with the standard program in march so I ends up my foundation at march 2006, the same as taylors. As their foundation certificates are accepted and accredited throughout Australia, I can go back to Melbourne and enjoy the rest of my 4 years in happiness. Sounds easy? Yes it is but why do I still feel bad? Not as easy when actions is taken is it?

I am going to go through a phrase of loneliness, isolation for a few days to a few weeks. And that is the part that scares me, the feeling is horrid if you really really encountered it before. Yes you have acquaintances but what of the real connections of a real friend at hand? Takes time and what to do? Nothing you can do except to make best of the situation as in trying to butter up the connection but even then it isn't instant. Rome wasn't built in a day and so is not relationships.

But what if I stayed? Yes I wont have to go through that but I will always be slower for 3 months on end.....Do I want that? And the isolation itself in class is also part of it. Although not so bad but not what I want. I want to continue with my current friends for sentimental reasons.

Nothing is easy eh? Well there is another way that could work I could ask for a new forecast result but would the teacher give it? I've always been a lazy asshat at class for numerous reasons and I have to gone through the principal again...Definitely the hardest part. I could beg for it but strangely that is not what I expected here in my heart. Maybe it is the part of me who don't like to turn back. Pride? Habit? A bit of both.

But what caused this in the first place some may ask and that is the source of the sadness and upset. No one told me how their marks are counted and they dint include BM, EST and PM. Great....Subjects that I've concentrated in, what luck that I threw away my concentration in Biology and Chemistry. Bad choice as they take those instead.

This all could have been avoided if I knew and concentrated on chemistry instead or just that I beg for better marks :P in the forecast.

Oh well what's done is done...what to do? Ive probably suck it up and go to Sdyney, a few month's pain will be worth than the 5 years at Monash it but what do you think???