Language Power

Prologue

Have you ever lost faith? Lost hope? No, lets not put it that serious but in a sense felt like an outcast? It isn�t those stories that you are a loner fishing for life living day to day hanging by a thread or that you has a life but is missing something. It is those that are one small perks of life that may just take away your sanity, no, it isn�t�but it depresses you.

But here is my little interesting perspective on life of a little focus called Language. Language as it always has been is the connection between humanity itself. Without it we cease to exist. Even animals have their body language or sign language. That is exactly what I have problem with. Communications in language.

Well lets not beat around the bushes (damn it I do that too much), I've come to Melbourne for a new phrase of life that most people will do in this modern world. I�ve haven�t started school yet but a few friends I have met. We all have groups that we attribute to in friendships. I don�t consider myself as in a very specific group but I mix well with all from nerds to the cool ones (pardon but if it is not too arrogant that is what I look at). Of course I have one that I am more attached too.

In here there is a new group but at this moment I�m taking my stand with a 3 hometown friends (although I�ve never met before, life is ironic isn�t it? But this is not the timeJ) they all have strange and different personalities but strangely we mix together well. Don�t ask another irony of lifeJ. They have a group of hongkie friends and well it finally makes sense as of why. I don�t speak Cantonese nor I can listen well at all. But why? I was rarely ever really concerned about dialects anyway. The only one time I really want to learn and even half heartedly is to communicate with my grandparents.

But a little background check, I was born in Indonesia but raised in sibu so I consider myself as much a Malaysian as the guy next to me if he is Malaysian. And I that same goes to being a sibuan. However, as a sibuan you should have a good grasp of foochow dialect but screw me, I never learn it at all. I was raised in a mandarin speaking family although my parents converse in hokkien. This is not helped by the fact that they speak mandarin program by the school so no foochow for me. By the time I wanted to learn that was 5 years ago and I can say at least it is passable although I cant confirm if it would save my skin if it were needed. :p This is added by another factor that I was never quite taken by Chinese/honkie/whatever Chinese made serials(not my type but that is also another topic). I instead turn to cartoon network with English, then to discovery channel and with all due respect that is where I have a better grasp of English than those who don�t really use it other than being taught in government school(the English is deplorable, seriously). That inevitably screws my chances with Cantonese. At that time I was glad but after ten years I finally grasp the idea of why.

However at a point if you know me close enough(no those friends that don�t know I don�t mind, what is a true friend comes from the heart not what he knows). I rarely go crazy or depressed over a language I don�t know in the likes of dialects specifically. But why now? Not then when it was groups of friend? here is the twist� it is about a girl. Oh yes ridiculous, clich� but let me explain. She is my type of girl if you�d excuse me. I don�t even know how to really explain the type I like but it is more of being innocent(strange�I like intellect people a lot), playful(but not extreme) and well fair skinned? That is what I see but I have faith that it is skin deep J her name is Karen, a hongkie that studies here for English. Well take it anyway but let me make it clear, she does not know English well or so I though as of now and she studies English from the beginning in a god damn English speaking town� how do you take that? I think that is quite a mix of insanity and bravery�adventurous too. Hey maybe she is the interllect kind after all? :P but let�s get not off topic here.

In truth I like her, maybe have an attraction, or just my lust but the prospect is that we or specifically I, cant communicate. I have tried, the first time I tried speaking in English normally for me, I think she was as much taken aback as I was with her when I found out. For her the shock maybe normal that �damn another banana boy�or something the lines of that� but for me it is a pure surprise. Of course I knew there are people like her but for someone that I am attracted to, how you would think yourself.

The bottom line is I am struggling to learn Cantonese anyway I can, so I can communicate well not just with her. Even with her friend, Fran a tomboyish hongkie that gets 6.5 IELTS she is also not too cordial with me. Maybe in the long run she is the catalyst that will change my Cantonese. It will be the better good.

You must think, what is the difference does it differ that in first impression that you speak English and their native tongue? Vastly don�t you think? If you haven�t grasped the idea that if someone that is not your own race speak your languge fluently, what would you think? Amazed? Don't deny it that you are not.

But why Karen? There are of course maybe other gals resembles her. In fact in a city like Melbourne you have to be blind not too see other attractive gals that maybe of your prospect to be a girlfriend. But this, I think it is about a girl back in sibu� I would like to say she resembles her a lot. Our relationship is an odd one. She knows I like her, yet still treats me with the utmost respect maybe as a real friend. She isn�t evil hearted (how can those gals be? Okay they can but she just can�t) at all. I never really told her outright� just once through sms which I got to say although is less stressful but very impersonal. And that just fell halfway through because of me. It was a desperate and abrupt decision in just finding someone that would love you the romantic way. And now she is in KL, I am still half dreaming of her although the fact is that I probably wont go back to Malaysia. But in the big picture it is still in the end, about having a romantic caring relationship. Ahh we have gotten off topic but lets hope that you knew a little history J

Somehow�someway just now when I went to help her get to her room after her curfew, she suddenly spoke English. Oh yes be reminded she is also a bit shy and quiet at first, still when I asked where is her friend she instantly mentioned that she is bathing with excellent English and very proper western accent. I thought she was a newbie!? Or that is at least poor like my Cantonese. Maybe there is hope.

Epilogue

In a sense I found out that hope is really a dangerous thing to lose and having faith in what it stands for is part of human�s sanity. As I found out if you have friends and family that are not cooperative can lead you to be screwed easily. Mine is a bit neutral and I was depressed over that I cant do anything at all from the moment I realized that Cantonese were the order of the day. but when the moment she spoke English just now it all changed all definitely . A stream of hope just fills you and makes you different. Totally different. What will come after this? I can only dream of better things and in the fact make it come true�.Time will tell�time will tell.

And another thing, what if they found out this little blog of mine? What would it be? I doubt it would turn out as well like last time with the sibu girl. Either way, maybe that could be the catalyst too? I know it is a dream but as have said�hope.